Sirius' Toy
by Crazy Giant Elf Fairy
Summary: Sirius builds a robot. R&R if it suites you.


A/n: Well I wrote this when I was bored one day a while ago. My friends said it was funny and have convinced me to put it up here. I'm sorry if it didn't make you laugh because it is kind of pathetic and rude but please review it anyways and tell me your thoughts. Even if they are critical, don't worry I won't cry.

Seventeen-year-old James Potter walked into the seventh year's boy's dormitory after his a "heads meeting" with his girlfriend Lily Evans to find his fellow marauders. The marauders were a group of four boys who loved to pull pranks and create mayhem. He looked over at Remus Lupin's bed who was reading his potions book and muttering 'hmm' and 'really?' over again. He was about 5'6 with short brown hair and brown eyes. He looked older than he should because of him being a werewolf. James turned his attention to Peter Pettigrew who was sleeping with a candy bar in his hand. Peter was 5'4 with blond curly hair and watery blue eyes. He was chubby and complained way too much. Next was the Hogwarts Heartthrob Sirius Black. Sirius was 6'3 with dark brown hair that came down to his cheeks, tan skin, and mischievous gray eyes.

"Hey guys." James called throwing his bag on his bed and lying down. He narrowed his eyes when he saw Sirius reach under his bend pull out a metal part. "Uh Sirius? What are you doing?"

"Well Prongs m'boy I am building a sexbot!" He announced proudly as Remus snorted rolling his chocolate colored eyes.

"A sexbot?" James questioned sounding mildly interested, "I don't need one I have Lily."

"Shut up James your going to hurt her feelings!" Sirius hissed his eyes widening

"When will see this 'sexbot' of yours? I'd love to see how defected it is." Remus asked looking up from his book

"Don't worry Moony she's going to be perfect!" He said dreamily turning his back so the boys couldn't see what he was doing. Remus returned to his book and James pulled out a Quiddtich magazine. After ten minutes of banging and clanking Sirius cried out.

"DAMN! I CUT MY BLOODY FINGER ON HER BREAST!" He yelled

"Oh good lord." Remus said conjuring a tissue with his wand and throwing it at Sirius.

"Thanks Moony. I could have gotten blood on her leather skirt." Sirius said thankfully cleaning off his cut and humming a bit to himself.

"Sirius?" James questioned giving him a questionable look

"Yes?" He said in a singsong voice

"What will you name her?"

"Are you seriously asking him that?" Remus asked giving James a disbelieving look

"Ignore Remy he's just jealous cause he won't be able to have sex with her." Sirius said sticking his tongue out.

"Oh yes incredibly jealous that I can't have sex with a piece of tin in your mothers old cloak for a skirt." Remus announced sarcastically

"I knew it!" Sirius said dancing

"But really Padfoot, What will you name her?" James questioned shaking his head at there bickering

"I shall name her Boob-a-tron!" he cried and then begin to laugh hysterically

"Boob-a-tron?" James asked

"Yes what's so wrong with that?"

"Oh nothing nothings wrong with that at all Sirius just though you'd name her something sensible like Katie or Melody." He said shrugging

"Well, I was going to name her Princess Lady but then a positively brilliant idea came to me!"

"You can get ideas?" Remus mildly surprised then added, "You do need a brain to get those you no."

"'Course I can get ideas Moonsteroni! I am a bloody genius! If I want boob-a-tron to be Lily Evans I just say Lily Evans and it becomes her that way its like I'm shagging the real Lily Evans! How bloody cool is that?"

"Not cool at all!" James yelled, "If you ever think about shagging her even electronically you won't have the equipment to do so again!" Seething James went to take a cold shower to calm himself down and get ready for his date with his Lily flower.

"We'll James is a tad touchy on that subject." Sirius said stunned

"I wonder why…" Remus muttered not really paying attention

"Don't think he'll actually cut it off do you?? I mean like how will I ever make love to girls again! Oh no oh no oh no! Moony I have to get out of here now!" He yelled urgently grabbing random things and throwing them into a his trunk

"That's my shirt." Remus said glancing up

"I'll be needing it! All right Remus mate I'm off! I was never here! If James comes looking for my equipment and I warn me! I'll owl you I promise love! Tata for now!" Blowing a kiss Sirius ran from the room

"See you later…" Remus muttered "He'll be back any moment now…10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and…."

"REMY HELP ME!" Sirius yelled crashing into the bedroom,

"You use women Sirius Black! I cannot believe Remus didn't put a stop to this he is the sensible one!" Lily Evan's growled angrily and she followed Sirius into the room.

"Hello Lily. James is in the shower if you need him and I see you've heard of Sirius's 'toy'" Remus answered finally putting down his potions book

"Lily doesn't like boob-a-tron." Came Sirius's meek reply from under the bed

"Of course I don't! What women would! What would your girlfriends think if they heard of her?" Lily snapped walking into the bathroom

"EW Lily and James are going to have sex!" Sirius said sounding like a little kid peeking out from under the bed

"Shut up Black at least were not in the middle of the hall!" Came Lily's reply then a giggle and moan

"Only happened once!" Sirius defended

"Padfoot would you like some help making your sexbot? I figured I could help you make it actually work." Remus asked trying to ignore Lily and James's moans.


End file.
